Archive for June, 2010

Last night I was reading an article about the top 10 female financial advisors.  Most all of these advisors had well over a billion dollars in assets under management.  They all had a different philosophy and even area of expertise or specialty.  They were from all over the country but there was one thing they all had in common, they all were driven by a purpose.

For those that read my blogs and newsletters you will know that I feel very strongly about the differences between men and women and often preach about the need for women to better leverage their natural strengths not just follow the path set before them.  In the past I have always found that the more senior women who had “made it” somewhat rejected this concept, and actually expect other women to pay their dues (conform to the male standards) as they have done.  That was NOT the case with these women and it was SO refreshing.

One woman focused most all of her efforts on legacy planning, forcing issues that were uncomfortable for the client but were purpose driven by the advisor.  Another woman specialized in helping the “millionaire next door” client spend all they have earned enjoying their lives until the end.  Another focused on income needs of clients taking a more conservative bond strategy complimented by a “Put Option” strategy, her purpose was to provide income while helping nervous clients feel less concerned about the volatility, something she was passionate about. 

I could go on but the purpose of THIS blog is to again impress upon you that when you know your purpose, when you know inside what it is you are truly trying to do for your client, when you know the aspect of your work that really feels good and natural, GO WITH IT.  This article only confirms that women ARE driven first by a purpose, find your purpose and the rest will follow.

Over the past 25 years in the financial services industry I have seen and experienced so much that was inappropriate and downright illegal. Here is my first of many upcoming stories.   

In 1987 I was hired as a sales assistant by Prudential Bache.  As a registered sales assistant who enjoyed sales I was quickly mentored by a soon to be million dollar producer.  Grant (I will omit his last name) was on the rise, he gave me opportunities to enhance my skills which added to his ability to succeed.  We developed a great working relationship and I respected his work and his clients. Life was good.

As Grants production soared he became the largest producer in the branch. I was soon promoted from sales assistant to junior advisor and was moved to the bull pen.  Although I was given no formal training I was thrilled with the move and was anxious and determined to succeed, but something changed.  Whether success breeds corruption or whether corruption breeds success I am not sure but I do know that something wasn’t right.  Grant had his retiree client’s trading CMO;’s while being margined to the max, not exactly suitable for those on a fixed income, but in those days who was looking?   I felt something wasn’t right but the manager continued to be supportive of our team providing more and more resources.  One day I was asked to call a client, encourage him to sell out of his current position and buy a new block of bonds.  I was to tell the client the profit he made of the trade which would support the sale.  As I did my own calculations I realized that the profit did not consider the margin interest charged to the client which was substantial.  When I questioned Grant about the numbers he forcefully told me to do what I was told, that was the end of the discussion.  He was asking me to lie to the client, I could not.

In the mean time after having what I thought to be a business lunch with Grant he wrote me a two page note which seemed not as professional as I would consider appropriate.  Without any delay I met with the branch manager, I shared with him both my business and personal concerns detailing my discussions with Grant, his response?  “Oh Adri you are just being too sensitive.”  I immediately began looking for a new job at another firm.  Eventually the advisor Grant was sued by his clients and disbarred from the industry, even the manager experienced disciplinary action removing him from a management position.  Was I being too sensitive?  I think not!

During a recent trip to Portland Maine in used bookstore I picked up a fabulous book titled Meeting the Madwoman by Linda Schierse Leonard,  it was originally printed in 1993 and yet  is SO relevant today.  The concept of the book is that as women we have been programmed to be a certain type of woman, you only have to watch one episode of Leave it to Beaver to know what I am talking about.  Although our lives are much more fulfilling today we still struggle with the traditional programming.  Based on this concept the author Linda Schierse Leonard states that every woman has a madwoman within her waiting to come out.  For every woman that madwoman is something different, looks different feels different. 

Soon after reading this book, while having dinner with my husband in Bar Harbor Maine an elderly couple walked through the door, the woman had long grey hair, dressed in what I would previously consider “hippie” style clothing but her manner and demeanor seemed to express such elegance, peace, comfort.  My first thought was that she has already released the madwoman inside of her.  By doing so she has completely embraced who she is physically, emotionally, spiritually.  She is no longer holding back yet no longer struggling to find her voice or her space in the world.  She no longer feels a need to convince others yet will no longer stay silent. I did not speak with her and do not know for certain whether this is true or not but I do believe this is the destination where we all would like to arrive, so totally content with yourself with little to no concern about what others think.

Since that day I have continued to think what does my Mad Woman look like, I believe I now know.  As a woman in financial services I spent years tolerating and accepting the rules of the road.  For over 25 years I have experienced the bias, discriminatory and egotistical limits that all women in financial services share in one form or another but I accepted and worked with my environment in order to succeed, I WILL NOT DO THIS ANYMORE. As I continue to coach female financial advisors, as I share the experiences I will no longer tolerate and help them recognize their true strengths their stories begin to come out.  They share the same frustrations, challenges and lack of support that I too experienced through the years.  They too accept it for what it is and try to move forward and overcome.  No more. 

The Mad Woman in me is my voice, the Mad Women in me is there to support and encourage every woman in financial services to have the courage to find her Mad Woman.  The Mad woman in me will no longer tolerate the “Good Old Boy” network. The Mad Woman in me will begin to share my experiences on my Your Pink Office website.  I will share all the experiences that I knew was wrong but tolerated in order to survive and succeed.  I will blog these stories and encourage other woman to share their stories.  We must first purge ourselves from the toxicity of our environment in order to rebuild an industry and practice that fulfills our souls.  Follow my blog, watch the stories in www.yourpinkoffice.com, and begin to recognize you no longer have to tolerate and compromise in order to succeed.

I was happy to learn I was NOT a workaholic even though my husband may beg to differ.  Last week we spent a week in Bar Harbor just the two of us. I did take my laptop with plans to do a little writing but as each day passed I found less and less interest in even opening the cover.  I purposely told myself I would not do any work for the first 3 days, I think that was the best thing I could have done for myself.  These first three days allowed my brain to shift gears and focus on reading novels and enjoying doing nothing.  After spending 3 days hiking and biking the desire to focus on business had smoldered, allowing me to relax even further, my laptop just sat on the table not even plugged in.

It’s easier to turn work off when you don’t love what you do.  My husband has been a pharmacist for 31 years, he is ready to let go.  When he is not working he rarely thinks about work at all, he just turns it off. For me it’s not so easy because I love what I do.  Whether you are a financial advisor, entrepreneur or have a consulting business you are constantly thinking about where next month’s pay check will come from.  You are constantly rethinking client situations hoping to find the best solution.  Yet it is these same situations that create the importance and need for R&R.  Your brain needs a break, like an overused muscle it needs time to heal and repair in order to begin rebuilding.  By the end of our vacation, when I did finally open up my laptop the ideas just flowed.  My mind had a chance to get refreshed enhancing my perspective and ability to think more clearly.  As always after a long vacation I asked myself why don’t I do this more often.

If you struggle to take time off, if you find it difficult to turn your mind off even on the weekends, if you feel as if your family is constantly asking you to spend more time with them, then perhaps you too need to take the Workaholic quiz.  I’ve posted the quiz on www.YourPinkOffice.com as my latest Actionable Idea.  Take a minute and see where you stand, perhaps it’s time to take some well needed time off.

As a professional woman I don’t have many female friends; I’ve always thought it was a problem, now I recognize I’m not alone.  There are a number of reasons; the first there never seemed to be time.  Between work and family something had to give and friends was always low on my priority list.  Most of my social life came from maybe a neighbor or two and my office.  The second reason as a financial advisor I seemed to lack the talent much less the energy to socialize with the “soccer” Mom’s.  I attended many of my kids sporting events but always felt a bit out of touch.  Coming straight from closing a multi-million dollar investment account I found it difficult to shift my thoughts to carpools and social gossip, not that I wouldn’t have liked to partake. And lastly, I’ve always worked in a male dominated industry I suppose I sometimes felt more comfortable in the company of men but even then didn’t quite fit in.

At this years conference Breaking the Mold for Female Financial Advisors one of the participants shared that she always thought of herself as a third sex, part female, part male or something in between; this feeling seemed to resonate with most of the women in the room.  As a woman you just assume your the only one with the problem, you perceive all the other woman as having a great social life, obviously that is not always the case.  I always thought it was just me, so do my daughters.  My daughters are so quick to compliment me when they see me socializing with women in the community, they practically pat me on the back and tell me “Good job Mom!”.  They love seeing me do the regular “Mom thing”.   

As time goes on I have learned that I am not alone.  Just by sharing the fact that I don’t have many female friends other women are able to admit their own lack of a social network.  All of a sudden we feel that bond of women on the outside.  I suppose women just assume other women have a great social network but who the heck has the time?  The reality is when you are a strong independent female, when you have a career or are building a practice as a financial advisor, when you have children at home who need your time and support, something has to give. I am now more selective, when I do find a woman that is open, honest, competitive and displays the energy I love to be around I make the effort.  I don’t have many friends but I am slowly accumulating some really good friends that are worth it.