Archive for February, 2011

When was the last time you went on a real vacation? Not to the obligatory trip to visit with parents but a real vacation where you totally relaxed, had fun and forget about your business just for a while?

This is a common conversation I have with all my female financial advisor clients.  Women are notorious for NOT taking a vacation purely for fun, they either feel guilty or if you are like me I’m always trying to multi-task my vacations, combining family obligations with a vacation, not always relaxing.  It isn’t until my husband is adamant that we go away that I will reluctantly make the reservations.  While I know in my head the vacation is so important, not just to my physical well being but to my emotional well being, I tend to put other things first, thank God my husband lives for vacations.

This week we are headed to Miami for a week of sun, while at first I felt guilty going somewhere just for me/us I understand how important a total break is for me and my business.  I have seen and experienced the benefits of giving your brain muscles a total break and that is exactly what I intend to do. As much as I coach my clients to do all the right things I know it’s not easy.

I preach this balance philosophy daily and it’s still difficult for me.  But I have had enough success following these principles of balance and the law of attraction to feel confident in the ultimate benefits.  It’s just so difficult that when you have been weaned in the corporate environment and financial services industry it is difficult to walk away and turn things off, sound familiar?

Most people working in the financial services industry have been trained to believe that he who works the most hours wins, WRONG.  I too have been subjected to this male oriented principle; the problem is as women we are different. This week I’m going to turn it all off. I’m going to let my brain, my body and my mind recharge.  I’m going to let myself relax and enjoy the fruits of my labor.  No kids, no work, no bills, no worries. Just total relaxation!! This is what I need, this is what will have the greatest impact on my business. I’ll let you know how I do, it’s sometimes easier said than done……

Female financial advisors should model John Boehner’s style.  This morning I read a great opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal talking about the new approach that Speaker John Boehner is bringing to the House of Representatives.  Instead of sticking to what is safe, what is favored by the majority or those in charge Mr. Boehner opened the flood gates allowing a barrage of ideas to be presented.  Everyone would be heard and every idea considered. This took more time and more effort from all involved, having to really think about every issue but the process is bound to inspire new energy.  Without the ability to express your ideas, when you feel you no longer have a voice or that your voice is falling on deaf ears apathy creeps its way into your life. This new approach allowing everyone to be heard will hopefully chip away at the apathy that has plagued our Government 

So many female financial advisors bring that same apathy to their business. While they may have started out with visions of grandeur, over the years their ideas and visions have receded into archives of their brains. As a female financial advisor you work in a world where you are continually receiving the same old message as to how you must build your business.  Where you once were inspired to be different and unique in your approach your ideas and strategies were often squelched by those around you as being  too lofty, a waste of time, nonsense.  Over time this too causes a form of apathy, as a woman you lose something important, your soul.

I can’t tell you the devastation this creates in the soul of a woman.  While these women can still be successful they lack the passion, drive and energy they once had.  The real power in my coaching calls with these women comes from the brainstorming and  the creative thinking (a challenge for most female advisors). When these women know that they are truly being heard, that I welcome their crazy thoughts and ideas, when together we begin to laugh and have fun with the process that is when my female clients start to shed that “corporate” shell and begin to see glimpses of their real  self, the woman and advisor they really want to be.  This is an amazing process, seeing these women come alive again is an inspiration to me.

Oh yeah, I LOVE it when this happens. I just finished a coaching call with a female financial advisor who is finally asking for the million dollar client. This client we will call Nancy was so well trained as to the man’s way of building a business, she even used phrases like “grinding it out” . Her whole focus was on production and reaching her monthly production goals (this is still a challenge but I am working on it). While Nancy had made tremendous progress in revamping her whole marketing strategy over the past year her mind set was still lagging behind.
Today was a major breakthrough. After our lengthy coaching call last week Nancy came back to our call this week and said she started to tell others she is limiting her new business to just 10 families with multiple millions (this was a scary step for her). She was ecstatic at the results. She said just by verbalizing it she immediately got their attention.

What Nancy didn’t realize was the immeasurable impact this step will have on her business. As she shared the multiple experiences she had asking for millions I heard a sense of freedom and confidence in her voice and all just by asking for what she deserves.

Nancy is NOT alone; I can’t tell you how many women lack the confidence to ask for what they deserve but when you do the impact is immediate. Nancy is no longer asking for “crumbs” she is expecting a feast. What are you asking for?

I have to say I am totally impressed with my seminar Breaking the Mold.  I’m not trying to brag – that is not my intent at all – I’m just so excited about the residual impact of the program.  I presented Breaking the Mold for the first time in March 2010 in Simsbury CT.  There were 15 women who invested their hard earned money to attend. Of those 15 I have continued working with 12. In October 2011 I presented my workshop to 45 women at RW Baird, so many of those women have reached out to continue our work together.  This is powerful and let me tell you why.

It is easy to give a presentation, inspire and motivate participants for the moment and then walk away.  Most of those participants will go back to their office, perhaps make a few minor changes but overtime fall back into the same routine.  Yet with the women that experienced the Breaking the Mold conference even months, years later the concepts stick.

Is it my speaking ability?  I will say I am a good speaker but that is not enough to create stickiness.  I believe the reason my Breaking the Mold has such an impact is because female financial advisors are craving what I have to offer.  They know there must be something more to their business.  Even those that are successful feel a sense of something missing.