Archive for September, 2011

While I have spent years teaching both Male and Female Financial Advisors how to help women who have lost a spouse this month I experienced it for real.  My Dad, after 86 fabulous years died peacefully leaving behind a sizeable estate. My Dad was very proactive in planning for the future; his desire to avoid handing his hard earned money to Uncle Sam motivated him to take all the necessary steps to protect his and my Mothers wealth.  I suppose that is why it somewhat surprised me to see my Mom experiencing the same feelings that other women experience.

Will I have to go on a budget? This is typically the first and most pressing issue for most all women who lose a spouse.  Helping my Mom understand where her income would be coming from and how much income would be generated each month from her investments immediately gave her more confidence in her ability to maintain her lifestyle. Providing her with a simple monthly summary of income and expenses will help her become more comfortable with the numbers and more aware of what she can and can’t afford.  Becoming more aware is probably the most critical factor in becoming more confident.

Will I end up a Bag Lady? There is no doubt that my Mothers tolerance for risk differs greatly from my Dad.  Even my Brothers recognized the difference suggesting my Mom reduce her risk and focus on preservation and income.   While my Dad was all about growth, we want to make sure that my Mom NEVER runs out of money.  With newly established cost basis going to cash was a viable option while immediately reducing unnecessary risk until other options can be considered.

Keeping it Simple; Lastly we want to make it simple for my Mom to manage by consolidating accounts.  While my Dad was comfortable having accounts in multiple institutions, combining all my Moms assets with her advisor who treats her with respect and makes her feel comfortable is and continues to be an important factor.

While my father did a great job accumulating assets without long term care insurance his stay in an assisted living facility could have overtime put my mother’s financial future at risk.  Fortunately, given my Fathers acumen for building wealth my Mother was able to move him to a beautiful facility overlooking the Pacific Ocean making the move a more palatable process.  While his time remaining was short I quickly recognized the devastating impact our health can have on eating away a sizeable estate.

My Father left a great legacy, plan and prepare for the future so that you can life a wonderful life.

I have to say this topic makes me feel a little nervous (actually a lot nervous), feeling vulnerable is not in my comfort zone which is why I need to share this with you.

3 months ago I attended Barbara Stanny’s Sacred Success Retreat. After years of getting to know Barbara I felt it was time to actually become a student of her work. I had no expectations as to what I would experience; I arrived totally open and receptive to learning from Barbara although a bit anxious about sharing with 20 other women I didn’t know.

What an amazing journey it has been.

It’s hard to describe how much I have gained since attending Barbara’s Sacred Success Retreat so I’m just going to put it out there:

• I have learned to feel again, so many years of life’s personal challenges and building a successful career/business (in a traditional male industry) I lost touch with that warm feminine part of me that is so essential to who I am as a woman. That side of me has been dormant (or hiding) for many years, she’s back and I like who she is.

 

• I learned to listen to my soul. I realize now that to make huge leaps in business growth you must listen to your mind, heart and soul. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day “Doing” that we stop listening. The mind provides the execution but the heart and soul provide the passion and direction. It is when the mind and soul are in balance that success becomes truly effortless.

 

• I learned it is harder to receive than I ever thought. As a woman I am always looking at what I’m not doing well, what I must improve deflecting compliments in the process. I now realize how important it is to receive and embrace compliments from others as well as myself. I learned that receiving is not selfish but an essential part of our development and adds volumes to our sense of confidence and self esteem.

 

• I learned how to make friends (I’m serious). I realized most of my friendships are based on me helping them through life’s events (this is my comfort zone), but the problem here wasn’t them it was me. I realize now that to develop healthy, supportive relationships I must put myself out there even when it feels risky and vulnerable. I learned that the rewards of friendship far outweigh the risks of feeling weak or vulnerable. I have now developed some fabulous friendships with other woman, women who encourage me to be all that I am and all that I will become.

As women we have so many incredible talents. When we embrace all aspects of who we are our abilities become truly limitless. I spent so many years learning to be tough, strong, determined in order to succeed in business and life (I know many of you can relate to that) that I lost sight of who I truly am. The greatest friendship I have developed is with ME. While I am still a work in progress getting to know the feminine Adri is truly a pleasure that I relish every day.

Barbara is hosting her next Sacred Success Retreat Sept 29th- Oct 2nd in Seattle WA.

For those who can swing it I (obviously) recommend it. If not here are a few other ways you can experience Barbara Stanny:

• Read her Blog by clicking here.
• Listen to her “Call to Greatness” by clicking here.
• Learn more about the Retreat by clicking here